Lent is a time to repent and heed God's call

We are all called to repent and we are called to follow Jesus. When we repent, first we (probably) feel guilt or remorse for our misdeeds, then (ideally) we turn away from the “bad” behavior and move towards more noble pursuits.

I’m reminded of two encounters recorded in the Gospels. In one (Matthew 19, Mark 10, Luke 18), Jesus encounters a “good” man. This man, a successful leader in his community, runs up to Jesus, falls on his knees and says, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus points out that only God is good. Then, he asks the man if he knows the Commandments.

The man responds, “Of course! I know the commandments and I always obey them! I have since I was a child.”

Jesus looked at him and loved him. He said, “That’s great! There’s only one thing left for you to do. You must sell everything you own and give the proceeds to the poor. Then, follow me.”

The man’s face fell and he went away sad, because he had many possessions. He turned away from Jesus; he walked away from what he was called to do.

In a separate encounter (Matthew 9, Mark 2, Luke 5), Jesus met a Tax Collector. With the label “Tax Collector” we know he must have been considered a “bad” man. Jesus came by the tax booth (where the man was sitting) and said, “Follow me.”

The man got up, left everything and followed Jesus.

Later Jesus declared, “I have not called the righteous, but the sinners to repentance.” So, if only God is righteous then we can conclude we fall into the category of those called to repentance.

Lent is a time of reflection and repentance. It is a time for considering that which separates us from God and, once identified, turning away from those things and turning toward Him, leaving everything to follow Jesus.

A friend of mine pointed out that my personal struggle with managing time is an opportunity for me. For Lent, she suggested, I should turn away from the clock, from unanswered e-mails, dirty dishes, laundry and other demands in order to spend time in prayerful meditation, devotion and worship. More specifically, I am devoting more intentional time pursuing God's call for me.

Q: What are you doing for Lent?

Lenten considerations

Jesus told his disciples, I am the Bread of Life; whoever eats of my flesh and drinks of my blood will have eternal life. This startling disclosure came shortly after the miraculous feeding of five thousand with five loaves of barley bread and two small fish. The crowd of people gathered there called him a prophet and wanted to make him king.

Jesus withdrew from the crowd, walking on rough waters to join his Twelve disciples in boat crossing the Sea of Galilee to Capernaum. At the synagogue Capernaum the crowd caught up with him.

Jesus told them, “Don’t work for food that spoils but for food that endures to eternal life, food that the Son of Man will give you.”

They responded, “What should we do to perform God’s works?”

Jesus answered, “To believe in the one He has sent.”

So they asked, “What sign will you give so that we can believe you? After all, our ancestors ate manna during their wilderness wanderings, as it is written ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’”

Jesus clarified, “It isn’t Moses who gives bread from heaven, but my Father who now offers you the true bread from heaven, giving life to the world.”

They said, “Always give us this bread.”

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never hunger or thirst. Though you’ve seen me in action, you still don’t believe. Everyone the Father gives me will come to me and I will never drive them away, for I have come to do His will. This is the will of the one who sent me; that I shall lose none that he has given me but raise them up at the last day. My Father’s will is that everyone who looks at the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life and I will raise them up at the last day.

Jesus’ followers, devoted though they were, found this claim hard to swallow.

Jesus reiterated his promise of eternal life four more times and the people continued to grumble. He then spelled out the promise which is a core tenant of Christian faith. He told them, “Eat my flesh, drink my blood – the true food and drink, the true bread that came down from heaven, the source of eternal life.”

Many of his disciples turned away in response to this difficult message. He asked the Twelve, “Don’t you want to leave also?”

Simon Peter responded, “Where would we go? You offer the words of eternal life. We have come to know you are the Holy One of God.”

As a disciple of Jesus Christ we are called not just to follow him but to not turn away from him when we face the challenges put before us. Lent is a time of discipline and quiet introspection. Don’t turn away from the challenges of life, but embrace those challenges. Remain steadfast. God is calling you to eternal life.

A Tale About Trolls

Once upon a time, in a land that might or might not be far, far away, there lived a troll. This troll, like any troll, had "issues", not the least of which is her overwhelming anger. Sure she had friends she could growl with, but it wasn't enough to satisfy the pain in her heart.

One day she happened to find the house of someone she could hate. She knew a little bit about this person and it was enough. She settled in under their porch and prepared herself for a good time.

She anticipated so much fun she invited over some friends. They took turns leaving angry, nasty comments for the homeowner to find. But something went horribly wrong for them. For two weeks, nothing happened! They felt neither rewarded nor relieved.

The troll soon realized the homeowner's sister's address was posted proudly on the wall so she crept over and hid under the unsuspecting sister's porch. What the troll didn't seem to realize was that the sister's home welcomes anyone exploring their faith or (and this is the good part) for anyone looking to learn from the many mistakes she made in raising her children.

The troll spent some time exploring the home, and maybe she thought she had all the ammunition she needed when she launched her first round. But alas, shouting recriminations about poor parenting skills or poking at her faith...it made the sister chuckle.

"Why 'yes'!" the sister admitted, "You're right! I'm not perfect, by far. I've made many mistakes. I've wept many a tear and I've learned a lot. I've grown stronger but more importantly I've grown closer to God. Through my trials I've developed a deeper faith. Please, come in and stay a while. I'd like to hear more about your experiences. You're welcome any time you want; I love to talk about my faith. You don't have to agree with me. I appreciate the company and the opportunity to explore and share!"

I'm not sure how this story ends. You tell me....

Dear Lord, I pray for people who feel the need to criticize and be negative in a world already filled with pain and sorrow. Bless us as we strive to do our best, by Your grace. Help us all to love one another as You have commanded us. Amen.

Three Words for 2011 (and insight into how my mind works)

Sure, I'd heard a bit of the buzz...but amidst all of the noise and fanfare of the incoming new year I'd not stopped to discern just what was that buzzing noise I was hearing about "3 words". Then a friend e-mailed me and mentioned her own pursuit of the 3 words that would be her focus for 2011 so I finally stopped and listened.

I read Chris Brogen's post on the subject. I read the three words chosen by him and by others (in Chris' comments and here and here). I sent Chris Brogen's link to my staff and challenged them to come up with their own 3 words and to make sure their goals supported their 3 words. But I still couldn't seem to come up with my own three words. My thinking went something like this:

"Focus" should be one of the words because I really need to stay focused, but that seems silly because the words are supposed to be the focus. I can't focus on focus. What would be my goals? Be less ADD? Sit still for at least 5 minutes before succumbing to interruption and distraction?

"Faith" doesn't need to be one of the words because I'm blessed with a deep, abiding faith these days (although Lord knows it is often tested).

Maybe "Boundaries" should be on the list. I tend to work way too many hours and not leave enough time for the things (and people) I love. Really it's a matter of "balance". Yes, "balance" should be one of the words. I can measure my days and assess how well I'm maintaining balance. My to-do lists, my calendar, my e-mail all reflect the balance (or lack thereof) in my life.

But what else? Maybe "focus". I don't stay focused very well. But I've already considered & discarded that one. Hmmm.

"Discern"? I often pray for discernment, so that I can know God's will. "Obey"? Once I feel guided, am I obedient? "Act"? Do I act according to God's desires for me? Do I understand God's purpose and plan for me? Do I follow where he leads me?

All through the day yesterday and today I wrestled with distilling all of this down to three words. Three little words (or big words) that will have meaning for me. Three words that will help me stay focused on my goals. Three words that are better than any meaningless resolution. I tried on other people's words but nothing seemed to fit.

Meanwhile, on the radio, on the internet, at church, amongst friends I keep hearing talk of change. It's that time of year. But I don't really want change per se. I just want to stay focused on the things that matter.

Finally, Micah 6:8 resonated from the pages of the chronological Bible I'm reading. God has shown me what he requires of me: to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with God.

So after spending a little more time thinking about the words that will help me stay focused on what God wants of me, here's my list:

Prudence, Mercy, Humility

Prudence = the characteristic of exercising sound judgment in practical affairs; act justly.

Mercy = a disposition to be kind and forgiving; compassionate treatment of others; a blessing

Humility = the quality of being modest, reverential, never rude or self-abasing; temperance (restraint against inordinate desires or appetites).

So, yes, some change will be required. Ultimately I think these 3 words capture a life of discernment and obedience with the necessary element of humility ... which will honestly require the greatest effort of the three.

May God bless me this year. May God bless us all.

What are your three words?

The Valley of Humiliation

Sometimes it takes the convergence of apparently unrelated vectors in life to shake us awake so we can appreciate the reality of our circumstances. In the work-world, I've been giving and receiving advice about how to not just survive but thrive in the corporate environment. Meanwhile, I've fallen behind in my daily reading of Oswald Chamber's devotional "My Utmost for His Highest". This morning, before I rose I read the October 2nd entry "The Place of Humiliation" and it struck a chord, resonating and filling me with truth. I may be in Taipei physically but spiritually, mentally and emotionally I'm walking in the Valley of Humiliation.

I've gotten a little (or extremely) full of myself, thinking I deserve better than what I'm getting. I trust God and I trust God's timing... but why is this situation taking so long to "fix"? Why must I suffer so? Aren't I destined for greatness?

Where is my faith as I survive the mundane? I've fallen into a trap of believing that my faith will enable me to do great things. Instead, I realize now that I should focus on revealing God's glory in the valley, where the real work happens. That's faith. Real faith. Trusting God not because I'm living in a moment of heightened awareness, overwhelmed by the sheer joy of knowing Him but because in the absence of any clear indication of His presence I still know He is here with me.

God doesn't have to prove anything to me and God doesn't owe me anything. Life in the valley of humiliation is what it is: life. We can't serve God's greater purpose without spending time humbly trudging along in the valley. That, my friends, is God's kingdom here on earth. Welcome.

Teens: You gotta love 'em!

It was inevitable. He's 16. He can't help himself. He must transition from child to adult. Unlike a caterpillar whose transition allows them the comfort of a cocoon to effectively insulate them from the world, teens must go out into the world and face the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. And worse, other teens. And teachers. And police officers who pull them over and issue citations (but that I'll save for another post).

What's a mother to do?

Love, love, love! And when that's not enough, love them some more.

I've had to remind myself of this lately. When my teen comes home tired and cranky, I need to offer love. When he tries to reject my love, I need to offer more love.

How?

I write him notes that tell him I love him. I communicate with him (about my day, about his day, about his dreams and plans). I do things for him ("Are you hungry? Can I fix you a sandwich?"). I encourage him ("Wow! That's great! You're really doing a good job.). I pat him on the back (literally).

This post is as much for me as for you. The rewards of this sacrifice are not immediately evident. My love can easily be rebuffed or rejected. But I am determined to respond with MORE not less. I've learned this lesson the hard way.

Taking the High Road

Last week I had an unpleasant encounter with a pair of "Christian women" who demonstrated unchristian behavior. Yesterday I concluded that I would not confront the offenders directly. Instead, I wrote an article for the Examiner about motives for good deeds.

I also read a few rants from other bloggers about snarky trolls leaving anonymous criticism, people sending judgmental e-mails, etc. I realize blogs are a great place to shake off whatever ails our peace of mind, so I'm following suit.

I recognize that I am probably the worst person to confront the women who offended me - not because I'm incapable of the diplomacy and tact required to present my case but because my motives will not be trusted. They believe their criticism of me is justified. In their eyes I did wrong. They don't see anything wrong with their actions and they certainly don't think they're wrong in their judgment.

I have to look inside my own heart and decide what action I will take. In the moment I was caught in a no-win situation. I only had a second to consider my options and I did what I thought was best. As I said in my last post, sometimes the best option is to say "you're wrong" and to walk away. In a few months I will cross paths with these women again. Between now and then, I will keep them in my prayers. And I pray that when we meet again, my path will be the high road.

The Lord's Ways Are Mysterious

January has been a long month, full of surprises. And full of irony. About 3 weeks ago, in pursuit of my blossoming career-interest (life as a full-time writer) I submitted an application to Examiner.com. Last week they let me know that I'd been accepted as a contributing writer. Glory! The irony? In between my application and their acceptance I found myself in charge of my company. For more on that, go here. You'll notice I've also kicked off a new blog.

My New Year's "Resolutions" this year included "write every day". And "read every day". The list did not include "take over my company". And yet, here I am. I am now the "acting Director" ("local site manager"..."woman without a title"?) for my small company.

And, I'm on board with the Examiner team, committed to publish regularly. And to read. My assignment is "Austin Christian Books Examiner." I will be challenged to manage my time effectively, but what's life without a good challenge? Godless.

With God, all things are possible. I'm praying for God to guide me to the Office Manager that will be my partner in successfully leading my company. That step is key.

If you've stopped by and wondered where I've been, I hope I haven't worried you by my silence. I've been working or working out. My faith is as strong as ever. I trust balance will soon return.

But...your prayers are appreciated.

Making a list and checking it twice

I wonder whether I'm avoiding work by making a list or avoiding a list by doing things. I have a lot left to do before I leave for China tomorrow. One of the things I need to do is to make a list for my husband...so he doesn't forget the things he needs to do while I'm gone. Like mulch the flower beds. And feed the fish. The flower beds will survive but it won't be good for the fish if he neglects them for 2 weeks. The man will clearly benefit from a list, don't you think?

Meanwhile my to do list for today is only a few entries long. "Pack for China" was one of the big items. Below that was "refill shampoo, conditioner and face wash bottles". I'm reminded of a great tip I learned from a friend, but forgot to follow today: Break down the projects into each task to avoid getting lost in the details.

"Pack for China" is too big of a task. I'm still working on that task. I should have made a complete list of everything that needs to go in the suitcase. Then I would know what was lacking as of this moment. Instead, I can tell you that my bedroom looks like the suitcase exploded - clothes and toiletries are strewn across the bed and floor.

I never finished making the list because I started tackling the project. I know better, yet I fell into this common trap. As I began to build the list I began to get anxious about how much I needed to do. Jumping into action helped relieve the anxiety - but that relief was superficial.

Sitting down and writing this post has reminded me that it's better to take the time to plan. If I have time to write a post, I surely have time to finish writing the list of things to pack!

So, I'm going to revise my list to reflect everything that needs to go into the suitcase. Below that I'll highlight things I need to do in order to pack (like restock the travel kit). Below that I'll list the loose ends that need to be tied up before I leave my day-to-day world for 2 weeks (like some e-mails that need to be sent). Finally, I'll start a list of things I need to purchase before I go (Pringles - a must, Pepto, ...) And then I'll get busy packing.

Are you a list-maker? No? What works for you?

A day to be truly thankful

Today, as people all across America pause in their busy lives to give thanks, I have blessings beyond measure and my thanks are lifted up as I praise God for all He's done in my life this year.

I just took a quick peek at my post from last Thanksgiving. Last November I banged out a post every day as part of NaBloPoMo. On Thanksgiving day, my oldest daughter was barely communicating with us. Our 2nd oldest daughter was living in Pennsylvania with her husband and our grandson. Our 3rd oldest spent Thanksgiving in Del Rio with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's family. Our youngest, my husband and I enjoyed a healthy, quiet meal at home. I spent some time reading. We worked on a puzzle. We were visited by a flock of cardinals.

This November I've banged away on the keyboard as part of NaNoWriMo. Today, I crossed the finish line - not the 50k word goal (I passed that last Friday) but the actual goal of finishing the novel. Yes, I did it. It took almost 69,000 words, but I can now proudly claim to have written a novel. What a great way to celebrate Thanksgiving! Giving thanks for the flow of words and the story I was able to tell.

But, better than that! (What, pray tell, could be better than that?) Last night at about 11pm our oldest daughter and her beau arrived. Today at 11am our 2nd oldest, her husband, his mother (the MIL) and our grandson arrived. They live across town so it wasn't the journey that made their arrival remarkable. It was the drama leading up to today. She called Monday to say they weren't coming (insert MIL drama here), then yesterday decided they were going to be here after all. At about 2:30pm our youngest daughter arrived with her girlfriend. We sat down to eat soon after 3pm. All eleven of us.

After a fantastic dinner, prepared by my wonderful husband, we settled down to watch "Up". A very enjoyable movie (other than the occasional tear-jerk scenes that caused me to cry, which caused my husband to announce that I was crying much to the delight of all. Glad to be of service).

It's been a good year for many reasons, but mostly because my faith has grown (continually seeking God's guidance), my knowledge has grown (almost finished reading The Bible in a Year, huge awakening comes with the awareness and insight), my ambition has grown (well, "shifted" may be a better word - I'm no longer interested in the corporate ladder), my relationship with my children had improved dramatically (even in the absence of drama). I'm as healthy as I've ever been - physically, mentally and spiritually (given my history, that's no small feat). I'm employed, yet able to pursue my passion (ahem, that would be "writing" in case you missed that subtlety).

I'm so happy I could dance. Or sing. Or fall on my knees, lift my arms and turn my face to sky and say "Thank you, God. You are awesome." Or all of the above.

What are you thankful for?

Guest post – How to Stay Young!

This was forwarded to me. Given my intense focus on writing a novel as part of NaNoWriMo I'm going to "borrow" this as a way of blowing the dust off of this blog.

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them...that's why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop'...and the devil's name is Alzheimer's.


4. Enjoy the simple things.


5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, conifers, hostas, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.


8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ......ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone… We all need to live life to its fullest each day!




Worry about nothing, pray about everything!

Amen.

Because I have nothing better to do...I'm ready to go!

I have been pining for a while. Pining and whining. I'm ready for a change. I've been ready for a change. On two separate occasions (once in 2005, once in 2008) I've started novels. Like miscarriages, conceived but never fully developed.

Now, I'm 3 days away from the wildest writing ride of my life. Wilder than last year's NaBloPoMo. Wilder than the last few weeks spent warming up on my non-fiction work. I'm pregnant, expectant, ready to deliver. I think my water's broken. I'm at the cusp of full-blown labor pains. NaNoWriMo.

I'm in awe. Afraid yet alive with excitement. Nervous energy wells as I edge closer to the precipice. When I wake up Sunday morning I will be at the start of something that will change me. It is inevitable. I will not leave this experience the same as when I started - no matter how the birthing process goes. I'm ready to shout it to the world. And, God willing, by the end of November I will.

"I'm a novelist!"

Alleluia!

"Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave...

...when first we practice to deceive." Sir Walter Scott

Once I read something that Neil posted on his blog and was flabbergasted...then realized he writes the best fiction I've ever found on the Internet. Bless him, he's good!

Not long ago I was floored again - this time by the horribly immature response of Alice Hoffman to a mixed review of her novel. Not a bad review, just a mixed review. She proceeded to attack the reviewer via Twitter: she posted the reviewer's e-mail and telephone number and she told "her fans" to contact the reviewer directly. This was a published author behaving quite badly, demonstrating for all how a lack of personal restraint can lead to public embarrassment and subsequent apologies. We've seen this sort of behavior from Hollywood denizens for years. Although Alice may wish to be remembered for her noble statements or her novels, she left a legacy with her hasty remarks. In the backlash of public reaction she deleted her Twitter account, but the Internet has memory and Google cache retained the information for some time.

Today I've been taken aback again by the drama played out between Nic and the TSA. Although Nic has "darkened" her blog (Update: her blog is up and she's posted an apology of sorts), her post is still out there. After I watched the TSA video I did a quick Google search and found her post among the many related hits.

I'd love to believe Nic's story because she tells it with passion and it's compelling - but the same can be said for Neil's work of fiction. One big difference - Neil didn't attack a public entity. Neil didn't create a campaign. Nic not only posted her rant, but she also posted this item on the "People's Blog" which includes a link to her post. I found several others who had taken up her cause. Only some had updated with the TSA's counterclaim. Google is an awesome and scary tool when it comes to research. Nic should know that her full name, home address and phone number turned up in my simple search for her story.

Today Maggie wrote a post expressing her dismay over the situation and some aspects of human behavior. Maggie's far more eloquent than I - I encourage you to read her thoughts for yourself. If you read this you know I'm way ahead of her, worried on her behalf about the responsibility she's shouldered in passing on information that may be difficult to verify.

In August, Nic told a story on Violence Unsilenced. Was her story there true? Perhaps Nic struggles with reality, or maybe she's writing fiction and wants to know that her stories are believable or maybe she just has a flair for the dramatic. Today's drama casts doubt on her tale, like the boy who cried wolf. "Even when liars tell the truth, they are never believed. The liar will lie once, twice, and then perish when he tells the truth."

I'm a regular reader of the Violence Unsilenced posts. Because I want my comments on the VU site to be prayerful and meaningful, I take the time to visit (whenever they're available) the blogs of the victims. I want to understand them better, to appreciate their circumstances. That's how I found myself torn by Kelly's recent post on the VU site. Her blog took me to her husband's blog and between the two of them I pieced together a story of two people who are in a bad place, both culpable. It's hard for me to identify one person as abuser and one as victim - they seem to share these roles. After spending half their lives together they know where each other's buttons are and they push them. I am still praying for them - their story has touched my heart.

But Kelly posted her accusations on a well-regarded blog and thereby afforded credibility to her side of the story. But just as we see with Nic and TSA, there are two sides to every story. It's damaging to yourself and to others if you build up your self-righteous attitude based on the misguided indignation you've inspired with your half-truths.

And then there's the mixed blessing of social media. Another TSA vs. passenger drama happened in June 2007 and was also "outed" with video footage. In that video the TSA comes off less wholesome, yet the TSA still disclosed the full video. 2+ years ago Twitter wasn't as widely adopted (and blogs weren't as broadly embraced) and available for the viral spreading of the woman's claims.

In the end, each of us must decide whether we're going to walk around (or browse the Internet) believing everything we're told and taking up the sword for others with moral outrage based purely on their moral outrage .... or believing nothing because the world is filled with liars .... or having to apply ourselves to the arduous task of discerning the truth and deciding what we're willing to believe based on what we know.

The world is filled with people who tell lies. That is the truth. Nic may have believed what she posted was true but her memories might have been distorted by the anxiety and frustration experienced during her delay. Or maybe she has "issues." I don't know Nic, but she created a cloud of doubt and uncertainty that is probably warranted.

"Only simpletons believe everything they're told!" (Proverbs 14:15)

A worthwhile follow-up as the drama continues.

Update: the TSA has now posted additional video footage from multiple angles.

Meanwhile, the blogging firestorm continues.

October: Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Maybe you know this already, but the statistics for domestic violence and sexual assault are grim. Girls and boys are exposed to inappropriate sexual content on a regular basis. I'm worried for our children, especially our daughters. 1 out of every four is likely to be a victim. It pains me to think about the households that are filled with tension, anger, violence and struggles for survival. Every empathetic fiber of my being cries out for the justice and freedom of the oppressed.

To balance that is a firm belief that couples united in faith (i.e. pledging their vows before God) should be committed to do everything in their power to make their marriages work. Having entered into a holy partnership, subject to a divine covenant, how do you know when to hit the "escape" button? "Should I stay or should I go?" must tear at the hearts of the victims.

There's a web site that provides an outlet for victims. A safe haven, as it were. A place to speak out against the abuse they've survived. But something happened there that has left me disturbed.

How does the moderator, a modern saint, protect the site against false accusations? I'm not talking about blatant, malicious attacks against the innocent - that's the foundation of most of the unsilenced voices. No, I'm talking about someone speaking out against their spouse, telling their side of a very two-sided story. Calling out their partner for "abuse" without confessing to their own role in the sad state of affairs.

Most abuse is one-sided. There's an abuser and a victim. Sometimes, however, couples develop unhealthy relationships based on power struggles, battles for control, efforts to wound and retaliate against wrongs, both real and imaginary. The roles of abuser and victim are blurred, shared, ill-defined. She dresses provocatively, wearing low cut blouses, showing cleavage, flirting, starved for attention. He's jealous and angry, resenting the attention she gets from others, even though he doesn't show her enough attention himself. Anger, distrust and hurt brew in the subtext of every conversation. Words that can never be reclaimed are hurled during the heat of anger. Names are called. Ugly, hateful names. Because in the depth of their pain they each want their beloved to hurt as much as they do.

Worse, they began to seek allies outside of their partnership. Others who will support "their side". "Friends" who tell them "You should leave your partner! They're a scoundrel! You deserve better!" Worst yet - when seeking support from someone of the opposite sex. This bolsters the individual ego "Hey! I'm not so bad. This guy/gal likes me. Why can't my spouse see what they see." And the partner? This new ally is the enemy and the very relationship is a betrayal, fostering even more hurt and distrust. Don't kid yourself folks, it's not innocent. If you must find someone to talk to, seek a counselor. If you have friends that support you, stick with same-sex friends. Don't feign innocence defending your opposite sex ally. Your partner has every reason to object, even if nothing is happening.

My heart is hurting for a couple that is in the throes of a public separation. I've been reading both of their sides and I see from within. I've been there. I've lived through this. I can testify that this hard time can be survived, but in order to do so the idea of "right/wrong" must be abandoned. There is not going to be one victor and one loser, just as there is not one abuser and one victim. This relationship can be mended when these two people recognize that their love for each other is their best ally. Changes will be slow and there will be back-slides, but the man I was ready to leave (let go) 10 years ago is the same man I can't imagine life without today, tomorrow, until death do us part. I speak from experience.

I pray for this couple, I pray for my husband and myself, I pray for all couples everywhere. Relationships are hard.

The world is filled with people who are willing to throw their commitments into the fire and move on to the next one - and they'll encourage you to do the same. Don't listen. Pray. Seek help from sources who support your effort to work through the changes you both must make. Pray some more. Focus on what YOU must change and hold on to your love. Don't imagine the grass is greener elsewhere. Things have gotten bleak but you can get past this. These hard times can make you stronger. I'm praying for you.

Tips for Better Living

I had back-to-back "aha" moments coming from my efforts to read the Bible-in-a-Year.

First, right after I tweeted "Lord, be with me this day. Help me to do your will. Help me recognize the paths you open before me. Bless all who believe without seeing." I read "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" (Proverbs 20:24) This really hit the nail on the head for me because I want to understand everything along the way! I am working on trusting God without seeing where my next step will take me.

Proverbs 20:24 was paired with 20:25 "Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God and only later counting the cost." (Proverbs 20:25) I had to go back and update Sunday's post because this 2nd Proverb absolutely underscored the lesson from Judges!

Today's tip for better living: Listen to what God is telling you. Don't doubt that prayers can be conversational.

Amen!

Tips for Better Living

After a long hard day spent in the office dealing with people and situations and .... stuff. Sometimes you just have to step back and look at the big picture. The big picture in my world includes a gorgeous Texas sky and, in this case, a Mimosa tree.

Thank you, Lord. If my world was limited to the scope defined by my work or the perceived boundaries of my life, it would be a sad place indeed. May I glorify your name by acknowledging your greatness as the creator of all things beautiful.

Amen.

Tips for Better Living

When God is nudging, resistance is unwise. I've been seeking wisdom as part of my lifestyle so I'm not falling into that trap!

The AWI webinar has been awesome so far (we're 2 days in, 2 to go). I've been empowered, blessed and called to do a makeover on this website. Stay tuned!

As a complement to "A Mother's Angst" I'm considering changing the banner to "Our Father's Grace". What do you think?

Tips for Better Living

Today's tip(s) - listen to those gentle (and not-so-gentle) nudges that come from the Spirit. Choose joy. Trust the LORD.

"Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful." Proverbs 16:20


I've been consciously choosing joy since the beginning of the year. I've written "I'm choosing joy!" or "Choose joy!" on my white-board, as my MSN IM status, on various updates (FB/Twitter) as a reminder to myself and others.

Prosperity should not be defined by financial gain but by spiritual gain. In James 1 we are told "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy." Trust in the LORD, know that hardship is a form of discipline from our loving Father. Embrace life's challenges. Seek wisdom and discernment. Choose joy.

One of my coworkers took this picture with his phone and sent it to me. Clearly the driver of this car chose his (or her) reaction wisely. Life happens. Choose joy. When you get really proficient, joy happens.

Tips for Better Living

Psalm 118
1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.
2 Let all Israel repeat: “His faithful love endures forever.”
3 Let Aaron’s descendants, the priests, repeat: “His faithful love endures forever.”
4 Let all who fear the Lord repeat: “His faithful love endures forever.”

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust anyone here on earth.

No matter how powerful anyone on earth seems, God is greater. Believe it.

No matter how much anyone on earth loves you; no matter how much they profess to love you; no matter how much they are willing to demonstrate their love for you...God loves you more. Nothing you can do will ever cause Him to stop loving you, or to love you less. His patience in you is beyond measure. His love for you is beyond measure. He is faithful to you.

Can you be faithful to Him?

When in doubt, remind yourself: "His faithful love endures forever."

Tips for Better Living

Today's tip: Assume God is looking out for your best interest.

In life, we all know that stuff happens. How should I respond in the face of "stuff"? Should I cry out "Unfair!" or bemoan my fate? No! The more I accept that God is looking out for my best interest, the easier it is to recognize how I benefit from each trial that I face - keeping in mind that no trial is ever faced alone.

Just recently I have experienced a number of minor "learning opportunities" - trusting that God is looking out for my best interest and having that trust affirmed. Prayerfully stepping out in faith and having my faith rewarded. If we see discipline as punishment, we are forgetting that parents who love their children discipline their children. If we see accepting the consequences of our actions as punishment, we are forgetting that parents who love their children allow their children to experience consequences.

God loves us. God is looking out for our best interest. Believe it.