Friday, February 20, 2009

Friday Freebie

Live from Taipei, it's Friday night.

My flight left Austin at ~10:30 a.m. Thursday. Back home, it's 10:30am Friday. It's 12:30 a.m. Saturday here now.
This image is a backwards view down the long corridor of the international terminal in San Francisco. There was very different feeling coming down this hallway. It was less crowded, and the shops are all hi-end. No bustling fast food restaurants, no book stores.

I did find the Gucci ad a little disturbing.

While in San Francisco's airport, I received a txt msg from the eldest (22YO). Nothing going on, she was just checking in. Very nice. I also logged in to my laptop and discovered a facebook "friend" invitation from daughter #3 (18YO). Will wonders never cease? To my chagrin, I neglected to send a text msg to my youngest. :(

Daughter #2 (20YO) spent last night (which was Wednesday night even though I'm now living in Saturday) at our house so she could get a good night's sleep. Apparently our precious grandson has been keeping her up at night. PG-s was with us until sometime after 10 when my son-in-law came by (courtesy of a ride from his Mom) to pick up the little guy and take him back to the 1 bedroom apartment they are sharing. While visiting, D#2 went through my jewelry box looking for rings because her wedding band broke. There is a long story behind wedding rings, and this is a bit of a sore subject for me. She wasn't able to find my rings and I'm not planning on giving her a ring. There was certainly presumption (and gumption) in going through my jewelry as a precursor for what? Asking for one of my rings? She also asked to borrow the car Saturday so they could go on a family outing.

Is it wrong for me to be kind but firm in my refusal to support them? We'll babysit occasionally, yes certainly. We'll pick her up and drop her off when joins us at church (and oh, by the way, she's helping out - and getting paid - at the church's nursery). But. I have long ago realized that the children will abuse our generosity. I've sworn off playing the game of "Mom and Dad pay the consequences for the children's choices."

Hubby wants to give D#2 a cell phone on our plan so she at least has a way to communicate with us. As it stands, she has no phone, no key to the apartment, no car and not much income. It is such a struggle to not help (sounds weird, I'm sure) but I know in my heart they have the ability to get their act together. It would be better if they weren't looking to us to solve their problems for them. I'm willing to offer counsel. I am willing to pray for the best counsel, the counsel of the Spirit. I continue to pray for all 4 of my children.

Thanks to all for your warm wishes and prayers for safe travel. I'm alive and well tho maybe jet-lag groggy and cranky. I'd love your input on D#2: all comments and suggestions are taken deeply to heart.


Anonymous said...

I will come down on the hard-nose side. Everything you said you are doing is perfectly loving for a parent to give an adult child.

All the refusals make sense. Very difficult for you and your hubby to not agree.

I would remind your hubby of times not too long ago before cell phones were common. Is the cell phone really necessary? Help him explore for underlying reasons for wanting to give one to her.

I'm sure this is stressful. Every decision looks like a slippery-slope in hiding.

So glad you are there with only an ad to offend you. Hopefully you can come home and not be strpsrchd.

Stay well. Barbara

Jeanette said...

I am glad that you made it safe and sound. Those date line crossings are always weird.

As for D#2, I agree with Barbara on the cell phones. There are LOTS of places to make free calls and there are still payphones around. It does sound like a slippery slope.

The rings?!? What happened there?

you gotta wonder said...

Thank you both for your support. (and B - I certainly *hope* to avoid the strpsrch!)

J - I'll fill you in when I'm back in town.

you gotta wonder said...

Oh - I meant to mention. The devil may wear Prada, but vampire-like women carry Gucci bags. This may be useful info some day. ;)

dallasdiva said...

You know what I think. You are doing great!