Sunday's Study: Judges 17 - Micah and his idols

Micah lived in a time when lifestyle choices where "anything goes" ... maybe not unlike today. He chose to set up a shrine (including idols) in his home. He hired a priest to make it legitimate. The priest's greed allowed him to set aside what is right regarding proper worship and obedience to God's will.


Today there are a lot of people who consider themselves believers yet they set aside what is right regarding proper worship and obedience to God's will. Their idols may not be images or objects of worship - their idols may be self-serving ideals they keep in their hearts. Just because it feels good and has been legitimized by some authority, doesn't make it sanctioned or sanctified by God.

Off & running

It's been a challenging first week. Work has been exceptionally trying with a team of Taiwanese co-workers in town for a series of all day meetings. I found myself as the chief notetaker and driver of actions. The only saving grace was the lack of night time conference calls. Regardless, by Friday evening I was exhausted. I came home and submersed myself in about 5 hours of NCIS, Criminal Minds and CSI...back-to-back episodes of murder and mayhem. Skipping a day of writing penalized my progress and my momentum. Today I'm plugging away trying to get back on track. I'd intended to go to a write-in but it's all I can do to keep slogging away here. I don't feel up to driving anywhere on the gamble that my motivation and inspiration will improve.

Lord, without You I'm nothing. With You, all things are possible. Be with me as I continue to spill words, to tell this story You've put on my heart. Let the pages be filled with Your love. By Your grace.

Ready? Set....

How many people woke up today thinking about preparations for Halloween? I woke up thinking about preparations for NaNoWriMo. I'm again reminded more of pregnancy and labor/delivery than anything else. My thoughts have been all about the coming date: November 1st. The start of labor. The beginning of a month-long delivery. By November 30th I'll have birthed a novel. Excited & scared? Yes! Ready? Who knows?

Today I'll be prepping the house, just like a did in the days before delivering babies. I feel like I'm nesting. My home office, my bedroom, my bathroom, my closet, etc. I want all of it to be clean, somewhat organized, "ready" for a distraction-free period. I will not have time to sort clothes (Fall/Winter finally arriving in Central Texas - it's time to put away T-shirts and dig out sweaters!) or let myself get sucked into petty distractions. I'm clearing all of the clutter as I prepare for this adventure.

I've been trying to prepare the family as well, but I'm not sure if they get it. I'm not sure if I get it so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised or disappointed. I need them in my cheering section, not contributing to the distractions. Life is busy enough.

This morning I listened to the 4 tips for week 1 and I can't help but worry that I'm only good for the last item. Item 3 will take great effort.

1) Go to "Write-In" (group noveling sessions)

2) Go big early: Write 2-5k words on November 1st

3) Do not revise: "Revision is for December"

4) It's okay to not know where the story is going: that'll come in week 3 or 4

Tomorrow, Day 1: Church and children will consume most of the 1st half of the day. Then I'm going to the Kairos closing at Barlett jail. The local Write-In conflicts with the Bartlett closing.

I'm looking forward to seeing how many words I can write as I work my way around all of the planned activities. Although the average daily word count is 1,667 I'm targeting 2k/day because I know there will be days when I may not get much written. This week I will not have conference calls because key members from the Taiwan team will be in Austin. There may be dinners scheduled. Courtesy dictates attendance (but not necessarily lingering so I'll eat 'n run). Next week and after - I've told my boss I may need some time off.

I've been marking the calendar with all of my November commitments. Fortunately it looks like my business trip to China may squeeze into December so that's a relief. Meanwhile, everything else? Weighed against progress on my word count. Which is why I need to front-end load the daily writing. Some of the commitments and conflicts of time/interest (like the photo-shoot for Guideposts - my story will be in the March issue) can't be avoided.

Meanwhile, I had to explain to my husband (again) that I won't be available to join him for TV-watching. I know he supports me but the reality hasn't really set in for him yet. He needs to understand that the word flow will be like the dwarf bamboo that wants to take over our back yard. The words, sentences, paragraphs, pages will grow & multiply filling all available space during the month of November. I like that image. Let the words flow and grow. Pruning and weeding will come in December.

I do feel God is pleased with the basic premise & characters He's brought to mind. I pray that I can do justice to these ideas and bring the story to life. May God be with us!

Because I have nothing better to do...I'm ready to go!

I have been pining for a while. Pining and whining. I'm ready for a change. I've been ready for a change. On two separate occasions (once in 2005, once in 2008) I've started novels. Like miscarriages, conceived but never fully developed.

Now, I'm 3 days away from the wildest writing ride of my life. Wilder than last year's NaBloPoMo. Wilder than the last few weeks spent warming up on my non-fiction work. I'm pregnant, expectant, ready to deliver. I think my water's broken. I'm at the cusp of full-blown labor pains. NaNoWriMo.

I'm in awe. Afraid yet alive with excitement. Nervous energy wells as I edge closer to the precipice. When I wake up Sunday morning I will be at the start of something that will change me. It is inevitable. I will not leave this experience the same as when I started - no matter how the birthing process goes. I'm ready to shout it to the world. And, God willing, by the end of November I will.

"I'm a novelist!"

Alleluia!

Monday Madness - perspective

Sometimes life is all about perspective. Glasses that are half full are also half empty. Joy is a choice we make. A gift of grace available to each of us, but a gift that must be accepted. Because joy is a matter of perspective.

A few weeks ago I signed up for the National Novel Writer's Month (NaNoWriMo) experience. I can tell you a million reasons why I don't have time for this. I can fill my heart with fear and self-recriminations. Or I can choose joy and hope, faithful that if it's God's will, then it will happen and confident that if it's not - it doesn't matter.

I will remind myself daily to "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12)

By stepping out in faith and free-falling into the unknown I have to trust Him. I will embrace Paul's prayer to the Romans "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."(Romans 15:13)

Meanwhile, this week feels like my last week of freedom.

Sunday's Study: Judges 16 - Samson & Delilah

Samson, a man of God, was clearly foolish when it came to women. After his brief, tragic marriage and his rendezvous with a prostitute, he met and fell in love with Delilah - yet another Philistine woman. His destiny was to be the beginning of the end for the Philistines. Samson is a reminder that God uses us all through His strength and our weakness. Samson had a weakness for women and he was weak with women. Or maybe his weakness was his ego.

After 3 times of Delilah asking how to tie him up and subdue him and 3 times demonstrating her intention to do just that, he finally (on the 4th round) tells her the secret of his strength - to his own undoing.

When God was not with him, he was overtaken. Later, when he prayed for God to be with him, his strength returned. He is called out in Hebrews as a man of faith. His faith ultimately enabled him to fulfill God's will for him. That is all that any of us can hope for.

It's a Banner Day!

In the beginning there was a standard template bearing the title of this blog "A Mother's Angst. Soon after that I jazzed it up with the emo weeping eye. I've wept so many times over my children it seemed appropriate.
I've been open about my angst, my sorrows, and sometimes my joy. The banner evolved to reflect my evolution from pervasive sorrow to the overriding joy given to us through God's grace.
Today the banner takes another step forward. I may tweak it a bit but this is closer to what I've imagined for a while now. I'm reading the book of Jeremiah and I'm overwhelmed by the example God sets for us. I can relate to God's frustration with His children, the people of Israel & Judah. Jeremiah 31 is all about restoration. I pray for the restoration of my relationships with my grown children. Meanwhile, I thank God for all that I've learned and am able to share with others.